Bad Days in Motherhood

if there's something you can call as bad day at he offices, i guess it's what happened to me a couple days now.

I get setbacks in my so called 'work', i've become that bad mom i've always tried to avoid.

Remember about the no TV rules?,i broke it once we all had gone sick,and i need TV so Raffa can eat at least for a couple of spoons so he can recover fast,and then i broke all the knowledge i've had at Elly Risman seminar on how to communicate with your child,at times of depressed because the helper is not around anymore,i channeled my frustation to my boy, i yelled at him,i despise him when he's not eating anything i gave to him even that instant baby food ones he rejected it also,and then its getting worse,he really stop eating eventhough his playhouse disney channel is on and i tried to be happy as i can be make eating fun.But i feel no fun,so i guess he sensed it. He cried all the time for no apparent reason,only eat biscuits,and i feel like a mess.I cried everyday, i fear for my boy not developing the way he should be,and i have a target that he can gain at least 1kg when he's 18mo,and i don't know how am gonna do that when he really dont want to eat. I'm so stressed out. I feel like a failure!.

And..then,my husband said relax,hon,our baby is healthy,he's fine,there's so many kids out there who's having the same problems even bigger than ours,be patient.

then..i remember,i remember all kisses my baby gave me,gentle strokes on my face and the concern look if he saw me crying,at least i've brought up a compassionate and loving child,despite all my yelling he still hold me tight and kissing my lips...

I decided for now i'll try better at 'relaxin',i tried not to care what people say,as long as i give it for the better of my son the way i know it and work at him,i let go of my ego to be perfect mom..because i need to feel better 'inside' for the sake of my son and not getting crazy about this whole domestic things.

Hopefully i can tackle this bad days in motherhood,one step at a time.